And other activities to do now that the frenzied holiday season is winding down.
Ah, how fast time goes by – after weeks of shopping, wrapping and planning holiday menus, it is all over in a shiny flash of frenzied unwrapping. Then the relatively quiet week between Christmas and New Year’s – offices are half-staffed, kids are off from school, sports and new DVDs rule the TV. In case you are wondering exactly what you should do with this week, here is a handy reference guide that you can post to the fridge to get you through the week:
Dec. 28: Gather all the things your departed guests have left behind: shoes, toothbrushes, gift cards, children. Put them in a neat stack on the stairs, where you will forget to mail them – they will end up in a plastic bag shoved into the back of the front hall closet, and in a year or two will be thrown out. Keep eating the chocolates from the Whitman Sampler – these need to be gone. The scotch tape is beginning to lose it’s scotchiness – keep re-sticking greeting cards to door frame. Fish gift cards out of trash before trash day. Re-light all Yankee candles and take Tylenol from the headache you will develop from the competing scents.
Dec. 29: See what you can make out of leftovers, concentrating on desserts. End up shaking your head and calling out for pizza. Try on new lingerie and enjoy big, cleansing hysterical laughter when you face the mirror – you have been eating for days, now. Pull pine needles out of children’s socks, and have some more Whitman’s chocolate. Begin to move toys, clothes and envelopes upstairs, hoping you disperse these to the right bedrooms. Tell your husband the lingerie looks great, but you still have a headache. Drink water.
Dec. 30: This is a good day to get in your sweats and watch “Braveheart,” “Stepmom” and “Rear Window,” just because they are always playing on some channel somewhere. Try “Guitar Hero III” for the heck of it, and be pleasantly surprised at your ability to “rock the house.” Go to guest bathroom, pick up hairbrush, and do your Pat Benetar into the mirror – you still got it, baby. Drink water and think about going to gym January 1st. The rest of the free world will be there – why shouldn’t you? Tell kids your drooping tree looks like Charlie Brown’s tree and it’s even more special, to avoid de-ornamenting it.
Dec. 31: Brave the mall again. Gently bang your ahead against a nearby pole; it is still crowded in here with people returning gifts, and your blood sugar is all messed up; if you had a blood test now, your results would include a category called “Whitman’s.” Return lingerie and get a size larger – your beloved will never know, he’s in some sort of sports coma. Use gift cards; try to cobble together enough cards to buy the bedroom set you’ve been eyeing. Make tentative plans for New Year’s Eve, and end up drinking a glass of flat champagne and drooling on the couch with the family, asleep by 11:50 p.m. Grumble your way upstairs, thinking that this is not a great start to the new year. Pull tree needles out of your socks, and dive into bed.
Remember to wake up New Year’s Day with a song in your heart – it’s a new year, full of possibilities, baby! Pull on your roomiest sweats and get to the gym, and drink that water, to cleanse your over-stressed system. Finish the Whitman’s, though – it would be a shame to start the year with any type of waste!
You can connect with Deirdre at www.exhaustedrapunzel.com.